1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:07,940 --> 00:00:09,090 Oh! 2 00:00:09,100 --> 00:00:10,710 Um, hey, Rick. 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,480 I was wondering if you could help me out 4 00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:14,410 with a bit of a rake situation. 5 00:00:14,420 --> 00:00:16,880 - A "rake situation"? - Long story short, 6 00:00:16,900 --> 00:00:18,811 I asked Gene if he borrowed my rake, 7 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:21,400 and he said, "No," like... like that. Like, too fast. 8 00:00:21,410 --> 00:00:23,920 Like, faster than someone should know they don't have my rake. 9 00:00:23,930 --> 00:00:27,060 I think he has my rake, and I... 10 00:00:27,070 --> 00:00:28,600 I'm not going to murder Gene. 11 00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:31,330 Jerry, thank you for bringing me into The Rake Situation. 12 00:00:31,340 --> 00:00:32,640 I've done all I can. I'm out. 13 00:00:32,660 --> 00:00:33,910 No surprise there. 14 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,160 All that brain, and you just waste it. 15 00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:37,320 H-Hold up. 16 00:00:37,340 --> 00:00:40,120 - I-I waste my brain? - Yeah, Rick. 17 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:42,090 Obviously, you were born smarter than me, 18 00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,110 - but if I had your brain... - If you had my... 19 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,940 I am so sick of this "born smart" shit. 20 00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:48,000 Are you gonna kill me? 21 00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:50,380 I was born crying and pissing myself, just like you. 22 00:00:50,390 --> 00:00:52,029 Then I become the smartest man in the universe, 23 00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:53,040 and do I get credit? 24 00:00:53,050 --> 00:00:55,472 No, I get to check my brain privilege. 25 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:56,849 So we're swapping bodies? 26 00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:58,199 No, that would be "Freaky Friday," 27 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,352 which is the ceiling of your grasp of consciousness. 28 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,340 The brain is part of the body, Jerry. It's hardware. 29 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,430 I'm gonna put my mind in your brain 30 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,320 and your mind in my brain. 31 00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:10,240 Then we'll see the real definition of "waste," Jerry. 32 00:01:10,250 --> 00:01:11,830 Or, you know, admit genius isn't random 33 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,040 - and your failures are your own. - Oh, not doing that. 34 00:01:14,050 --> 00:01:15,100 Thought as much. 35 00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:32,540 Oh, furck. Oh, grod. 36 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,510 Wait, no! 37 00:01:38,060 --> 00:01:41,130 Okay. Hold on. Hold on. 38 00:01:41,140 --> 00:01:42,970 Oh-ho-ho, whoa, whoa, whoa! 39 00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:48,500 All right, Jerry, you can do this. 40 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,370 Whoa! 41 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,800 Medical emergency detected. 42 00:02:00,290 --> 00:02:03,290 _ 43 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,590 There goes my Thursday. 44 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:44,415 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.MY-SUBS.com -- 45 00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:51,820 I'm telling you, man, you're making a big mistake here. 46 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,170 Ha! Bigger mistake than being a criminal? 47 00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:55,801 I'm mistake-proof. 48 00:02:57,060 --> 00:02:58,440 Sorry to bother, boss. 49 00:02:58,450 --> 00:03:01,340 I caught this punk selling crystals on our turf... 50 00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:03,980 You big, precious moron. 51 00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:06,170 D-Do you know who the fuck... This is Morty. 52 00:03:06,180 --> 00:03:08,564 The kid who hangs with Rick Sanchez. 53 00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:09,857 Tried to warn you, man. 54 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:12,120 - Rick Sanchez? - Underworld legend? 55 00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:14,140 Chaotic neutral sci-fi guy? Huh? 56 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,960 Christ, he's gonna turn me into a sandwich. 57 00:03:15,970 --> 00:03:17,220 What is this guy, fuckin' new? 58 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,720 Think he was a Dylan rec, boss. 59 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,990 Well, check those fucking references next time. 60 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,320 Whatever this kid wants to do in our territory is his business. 61 00:03:24,340 --> 00:03:25,620 Fuck. Fuck! Call my wife. 62 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,040 We gotta prep go-bags three through six. 63 00:03:28,050 --> 00:03:30,020 Hey, pal. You good? You whole? 64 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,440 Y-You guys have milkshakes? 65 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:33,630 We will learn what they are and get you one. 66 00:03:40,050 --> 00:03:41,080 What a turn. 67 00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:43,530 Lucky I'm such a genius your garage can thwart death. 68 00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:46,018 I'm the genius, and it's your garage, idiot. 69 00:03:46,020 --> 00:03:48,140 Hey, what the fuck did you do to my body? 70 00:03:48,150 --> 00:03:51,360 Your body? Jerry, your mind did that to my body 71 00:03:51,380 --> 00:03:54,580 - using my brain. - Jerry, my mind was in this brain 72 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,640 in your body. 73 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:57,120 Pretty easy to follow. 74 00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:59,198 It shuffled us. 75 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,283 Shuffled you maybe. I'm tracking everything. 76 00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,520 Garage? Fix this. 77 00:04:02,540 --> 00:04:04,328 Situation was fixed. 78 00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,700 You call this fixed? 79 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,049 - This guy thinks he's me. - This guy thinks he's me. 80 00:04:07,050 --> 00:04:09,160 Let's see you fix it, then, asshole. 81 00:04:09,170 --> 00:04:10,200 I fucking will. 82 00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:12,200 I got my lab right here. Gimme three hours. 83 00:04:12,220 --> 00:04:15,140 Oh, sure, yeah, l-like I'd ever trust you to open my skull. 84 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,020 I'll fix it. I just need to scan for... Ow! 85 00:04:18,030 --> 00:04:20,440 Like I'd trust your fritzing R2-D2 ass. 86 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,990 You'll just kill me on purpose. 87 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,660 So that's where my paranoia went. 88 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,800 Rick speaking. Who is this? 89 00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:29,480 Rick, it's Chuxly. From Crimetown. 90 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,080 We've met 5 or 10 times. 91 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,700 Listen, small misunderstanding. 92 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,050 One of my guys saw your buddy Morty running an errand 93 00:04:35,070 --> 00:04:37,940 and he brought him in, which I told him not to do, 94 00:04:37,950 --> 00:04:40,020 but I've got Morty, and he is fine. 95 00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,329 Wait, w-what? Aren't you describing kidnapping? 96 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:43,589 - Morty's kidnapped? - No, no, no. 97 00:04:43,590 --> 00:04:45,350 Give me that, Jerry. Hello? Hello? 98 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,700 This is Rick Sanchez. 99 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:49,140 I'm using my son-in-law's vocal cords because I'm amazing. 100 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:51,260 If you touch my grandson, I'm gonna... 101 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,370 - Get... Get off me. - H-H-Hello? 102 00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,060 Jerry, stop. You're fucking this up. 103 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:57,129 You're only calling me Jerry because you're so stupid 104 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,360 you think it's hurtful, which it is. 105 00:04:59,370 --> 00:05:00,480 Tell me where you are. 106 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,260 No, you tell them where they are, like Liam Neeson. 107 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,620 Do not pretend to explain Liam Neeson to me. Sir. 108 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,440 - Hey, Jerry, don't touch me there. - Stop it. 109 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,400 - We know where you are. - We know where you are. 110 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,357 - My milkshake is empty! - Okay! 111 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,860 That was so embarrassing. 112 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,449 Do you have any clue what a pain it is 113 00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:19,710 to cultivate a mystique? 114 00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,560 Yeah, I do. It's my mystique, 115 00:05:21,580 --> 00:05:23,780 and you're just cultivating Jerry's shame. 116 00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:24,799 What is with my hair? 117 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:25,810 - Don't. - Leave it. 118 00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:28,230 - Why do you care about hair, nerd? - Be quiet for a second, 119 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,747 I need to think through all these chunks of moron. 120 00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:31,990 Okay, you stay here. 121 00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:33,542 Touch nothing. I'll get Morty. 122 00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,230 Ha! I'm not letting you get Morty killed 123 00:05:35,250 --> 00:05:37,129 and our brains blown out twice. 124 00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:39,548 Car, electrocute Jerry if he gets in the front seat. 125 00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:42,080 Car, engage castration protocol right now. 126 00:05:42,100 --> 00:05:44,080 Figure out how to drive me together 127 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,100 or I will have to kill you both. 128 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:50,300 Ugh! What are we, a 1930s comedy act? 129 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,940 - Stop swerving. - You're swerving. 130 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,240 All right, when we get there, let me do the talking. 131 00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:56,300 Yeah, I know, because you look the most like us. 132 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,750 - I'm not stupid. - Ho-ho! I beg to differ. 133 00:05:58,770 --> 00:06:00,060 Screw you, Half Jerry. 134 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,860 - You're a Half Jerry! - You're a Half Jerry! 135 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:06,360 Looks like he's inbound, boss. 136 00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:08,800 Okay, he is in a bad mood, 137 00:06:08,820 --> 00:06:11,955 so we are kissing ass until our lips are ass-colored. 138 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,080 Straighten that pillow. He might hate crooked pillows. 139 00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:15,110 I don't know. 140 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,790 Nice parking job, assdick. You scratched my car. 141 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:24,200 Rick! And... And, uh, Rick's friend. 142 00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:26,420 This is my... assassin. 143 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:28,440 Deadliest man in the galaxy, and he's gay. 144 00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,779 - Why am I gay? - Whoa. 145 00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:31,440 - Hey. - Whoa. Why aren't you? 146 00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:33,210 Sorry about that. Sorry. Sorry. 147 00:06:33,220 --> 00:06:35,020 Well, I got Morty right here, 148 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:36,460 happy as a milkshake. 149 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,200 And since we interrupted your day, 150 00:06:38,220 --> 00:06:40,000 Morty's got 10,000 croutons. 151 00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,840 That's slang for crystals. Morty, show him. 152 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,500 - We know what croutons are. - Ey! Tsh. 153 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,660 Why is Dad here? 154 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,830 Your dad's a gay assassin? 155 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,060 So cool and ordinary. Sorry. S-Sorry. 156 00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:51,720 I appreciate you trying to make good, 157 00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,500 but you cost me 10 times that much. 158 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:54,900 It doesn't matter, Rick. 159 00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:56,310 The guy's already kissing your ass. 160 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,380 It's the ass kissers you have to keep in line. 161 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,039 When they sense weakness, they move on you. 162 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:01,320 What are we, Walter White? 163 00:07:01,340 --> 00:07:04,216 Who cares if a mid-tier crime dork "moves" on us? 164 00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:06,220 Thank you for the crystals. Morty, get in the car. 165 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,700 Actually, Morty, why don't you leave those crystals here 166 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,880 since it's such an insulting amount. 167 00:07:10,890 --> 00:07:13,899 There it is. Now he's thinking, "Oh, maybe I can kill God." 168 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,390 Yeah, because God doesn't haggle 169 00:07:15,410 --> 00:07:17,480 for 10,000 fucking croutons. 170 00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:18,560 Look, here's the deal. 171 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:20,290 I'm Rick, that's my son-in-law, 172 00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:21,850 and we're all a little gay. 173 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,320 - Yeah. - It's a spectrum. 174 00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:25,700 Morty, it's me, Rick. Get in the car. 175 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,020 Don't get in the car, Morty. 176 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,500 And put the briefcase down. 177 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:29,990 Morty, get in the car twice, 178 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,120 once for each five additional briefcases this asshole owes us. 179 00:07:33,130 --> 00:07:35,120 Stop doing this terrible impression of me! 180 00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:36,790 Look, at this point, we're bad gangsters 181 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:37,840 if we don't roll the dice. 182 00:07:37,850 --> 00:07:39,480 Everybody, start killing 'em! 183 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,480 What have you two assholes done? 184 00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:44,260 It's okay. It's a nice restaurant. 185 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,459 - Whoa. - Shit! 186 00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,469 Crime restaurant! 187 00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:49,380 Oh, my God! Am I really about to die 188 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,555 - because you botched a "Freaky Friday"? - Yes. 189 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:52,939 Whoever you are, you're in Rick's body. 190 00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:54,860 - Use your implants. - I'm trying. 191 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,619 Half my brain is the guy that still needs your mom 192 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,360 to use the electric wine opener. 193 00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:00,820 H-Hang on. I think I got it. 194 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,401 Right, from my Conehead phase. 195 00:08:04,410 --> 00:08:06,520 - Awesome fucking movie. - Incredible cast. 196 00:08:06,540 --> 00:08:07,620 God damn it. 197 00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:09,780 I'm shooting my way back to the car. 198 00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,140 Ugh, way to go. 199 00:08:11,150 --> 00:08:13,210 Now my son and grandson hates us. 200 00:08:13,220 --> 00:08:15,520 He's my son and grandson, too. 201 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,560 Huh. 202 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:18,900 We do share an agenda, in that sense. 203 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,460 Let's hope you share my aim. 204 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:25,720 ♪ Fall is here, hear the yell ♪ 205 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:28,340 ♪ Back to school, ring the bell ♪ 206 00:08:28,350 --> 00:08:30,927 ♪ Brand new shoes, walking blues ♪ 207 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:33,388 ♪ Climb the fence, books and pens ♪ 208 00:08:33,390 --> 00:08:35,960 ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ 209 00:08:35,980 --> 00:08:37,400 Hey, get up here! 210 00:08:37,410 --> 00:08:39,311 - Said the throat to the hand. - Oh! Oh! 211 00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:42,680 You might feel a pinch and maybe a rocket. 212 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,280 You'll have to aim. Hop on! 213 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,920 ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ 214 00:08:52,420 --> 00:08:56,220 ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ 215 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:58,540 You Coneheaded son of a bitch. 216 00:08:58,560 --> 00:08:59,600 Can't believe that worked. 217 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:01,200 I wish they did that in the movie. 218 00:09:01,210 --> 00:09:03,418 Jesus fucking Christ. 219 00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:05,420 Huh, should've done something with my hands. 220 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,631 Morty, gotta push or pull. Your call. 221 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,600 What the hell? What happened? 222 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,480 T-They made us stop at every drive-thru chain in the galaxy, 223 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,210 so they could make one giant burger 224 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,780 with a patty from each place. 225 00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:21,311 I guess I meant before that. 226 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:22,640 Brains got a little mixed up. 227 00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:24,300 But we're gonna swap back. Don't worry. 228 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,100 Just didn't wanna build a neural interface 229 00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:27,732 on an empty stomach, right? 230 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,400 Wait, you guys did a brain swap? 231 00:09:29,410 --> 00:09:31,279 Don't bother chiding until they're unshuffled, 232 00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,060 neither one is Dad or Rick. 233 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,460 Huh. 234 00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:37,830 I guess I'm thrilled you guys are getting along? 235 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,660 Let's keep that going 236 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,170 when those brains get back in their bodies. 237 00:09:42,180 --> 00:09:44,460 Whoa, going for the electro-pneumatic diodes. 238 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,660 - Wild man. - Only gonna build this once. 239 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,588 Gotta do it with style. 240 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,240 I think we can up the wattage. 241 00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:52,270 Hey, another beer? 242 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,800 It's about the journey, brother. 243 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:57,340 Ah, Rick used to hate that kind of hang-loose McConaughey platitude, 244 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:00,250 but he was also just gonna spend today grumpy and isolated. 245 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,300 And Jerry'd still be hung up about the rake. 246 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,560 The rake. Oh, my God, should we do it? 247 00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:05,649 W-We've gotta do it. 248 00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:07,390 Oh, yeah. 249 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,120 All right, that should do it. 250 00:10:12,710 --> 00:10:13,800 _ 251 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:16,575 - _ - Whoa. 252 00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:18,680 - Son of a bitch. - Classic Gene. 253 00:10:18,690 --> 00:10:19,703 Huh. 254 00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,200 Crazy. T-This is the kind of thing 255 00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:22,560 that used to really piss me off. 256 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,960 Yeah. Now it's just kinda funny. 257 00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:27,229 Ooh, you wanna replace it with a holographic rake? 258 00:10:27,230 --> 00:10:28,259 Oh, that'd be fun. 259 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,130 He'd get confused trying to pick it up. 260 00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:32,850 Eh. I guess I don't even wanna do that. 261 00:10:32,860 --> 00:10:35,719 I just want to live. I want Gene to live. 262 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,550 I want all of us to make mistakes 263 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,320 - and change all the time. - Amen to that, brother. 264 00:10:40,330 --> 00:10:43,160 Kinda thought two geniuses would build faster than one. 265 00:10:43,170 --> 00:10:45,562 When do I start being concerned about this? 266 00:10:45,570 --> 00:10:47,649 Just having a little fun with my new friend, sweetie. 267 00:10:47,650 --> 00:10:48,839 Who is talking to me right now? 268 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,193 Mostly my dad or mostly my husband? 269 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,611 Oof, I've been on that website. 270 00:10:52,620 --> 00:10:53,940 Look, I've been patient, 271 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,198 but I can't tell how to get mad at who. 272 00:10:57,130 --> 00:10:58,460 No one enters my room 273 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,080 or touches me until this is wrapped up. 274 00:11:00,090 --> 00:11:02,460 - Eww. What do you take me for? - Ugh, Beth, gross, ugh. 275 00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:08,280 I want you to know, when this is over, 276 00:11:08,290 --> 00:11:10,220 the guy in this body is gonna yell at Jerry 277 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,360 and call him useless. 278 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,760 Really lay into him. But he won't always mean it. 279 00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:15,320 Well, cards on the table, 280 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:18,595 the guy in this body might call Rick an angry old asshole. 281 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:21,560 But he's the closest thing Jerry has to a friend. 282 00:11:22,230 --> 00:11:23,250 This was fun. 283 00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:25,480 Rick would never have been able to admit that. 284 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:29,560 Yeah. It's a shame those guys had to become us to be happy. 285 00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,240 Kids, breakfast and school. 286 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:42,509 If we don't at least pretend they matter, 287 00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:43,800 everything falls apart. 288 00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:47,460 Jerry? Dad? 289 00:11:48,510 --> 00:11:49,900 Th-They left a note. 290 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,390 Should we read it in Rick's voice or Dad's? 291 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,470 "Dear family, we thought about leaving a note. 292 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,679 But then one of us was like, 'Why are we leaving a note?' 293 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,160 That's such a Jerry thing to do. 294 00:11:58,180 --> 00:12:00,800 But if we didn't leave a note, that's such a Rick thing to do. 295 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,760 And then we realized, we just gotta be us. 296 00:12:02,770 --> 00:12:06,210 So it's a note but it's not really well thought out." 297 00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:08,820 That's it? They got out a pen and a paper for this? 298 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,250 Hey, did you guys get a note, too? 299 00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:12,930 Mine's really long. 300 00:12:14,990 --> 00:12:17,900 Beautiful day to be carrying glass, huh? 301 00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:20,198 I can't believe a dying kid would wish for a window. 302 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,879 Damn it! 303 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,270 Hey! Stop them! They stole our crystals! 304 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,954 Yeah! We stole those first! 305 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,830 Possession is 9/10 of my ass! 306 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,820 Look at this pancake butt. 307 00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:33,620 Stop. You're gonna make me fart. 308 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,762 Hey! That's for sipping! 309 00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:45,320 - So are my balls. - Here's a tip, lady. 310 00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:47,600 Life tastes better when you're chugging. 311 00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:55,330 You were in a tree? 312 00:12:55,340 --> 00:12:56,850 Really gambled on this escape route. 313 00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,200 Says the guy with a goon on his back. 314 00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:02,740 Forget it, Burger. 315 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,560 It's our calling card. 316 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,260 Oh, r-really called that one. 317 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,350 Eh, one of us always gets shot. 318 00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,160 God damn it. 319 00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:20,050 Hey. You'll never guess who just ripped us off. 320 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,340 Oh, wow. Good guess. 321 00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:25,379 - Whoa! - Oh, man. 322 00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:27,740 24 crystal heists in 24 hours! 323 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:29,440 We're two farts in the wind, baby! 324 00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,600 Yeaahh! Do your Howard Dean scream. 325 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:33,300 Yeaahh! 326 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,232 5:00 somewhere. 5:00 somewhere. 327 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,200 God damn, look at us. 328 00:13:38,220 --> 00:13:40,440 No rules. No responsibilities. 329 00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:42,560 Just two best friends on the run. 330 00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:44,150 - Yeaahh! - Yeaahh! 331 00:13:45,170 --> 00:13:46,780 The voice mailbox for... 332 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,539 Uh, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Did it beep? 333 00:13:48,540 --> 00:13:49,850 Uh, my name is Jer... 334 00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,248 ... is full. Goodbye. 335 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:53,750 Looks like we just missed them. 336 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,630 So they just stick burgers in dead guy's mouths now? 337 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,670 In dead criminal's mouths, Summer. 338 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,910 - You're defending them? - Well, they were my husband 339 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,600 - and father. - Thanks for the tip, Blarb. It's weird. 340 00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:05,580 Most of my underworld contacts are ghosting me. 341 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,940 My pleasure, Morty. 342 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,700 I should be thanking you for making me rich. 343 00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:11,580 Wait. I-I didn't pay you for this. 344 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,010 Yeah, these guys did. 345 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,940 What's the problem, kid? Conehead got your tongue? 346 00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:24,920 Ch-Ch-Chuxly? You're alive? 347 00:14:26,380 --> 00:14:27,780 Did this guy always have a hole, 348 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,110 or is that a big reveal? 349 00:14:31,730 --> 00:14:33,873 - Yeehaw! - Everything should be in a swamp. 350 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,780 Working with y'all was a plum-fool idea. 351 00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:37,809 Burger & Fries. 352 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:38,820 Who the hell is this? 353 00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:41,030 Just an average mid-tier crime dork. 354 00:14:41,050 --> 00:14:42,580 Chuxly? You're alive? 355 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,120 Shut up. I got something you might wanna hear. 356 00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:48,630 - Caught your family out looking for you. - What do you want? 357 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,580 We've smoked most of what we stole. 358 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,640 I just want you, both of you. 359 00:14:52,660 --> 00:14:54,900 Or I smoke your family. 360 00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:58,148 Eh, what am I saying? Sure, bring money, too. One hour. 361 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,040 Shit. Guess we should shoot the fuel tank, huh? 362 00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:06,640 You guys coulda done that the whole time? 363 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:20,540 So. What now? 364 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:24,020 Hey, remember how we met? 365 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,110 That non-rescue of Morty? 366 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,180 We were thinking we were different 367 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,240 and... and accusing each other of being bad, 368 00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:35,860 but Morty reminded us we both love our family. 369 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,980 And it brought us together. 370 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,730 Let's do this. 371 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:44,130 Well, if we're gonna do it right, 372 00:15:44,140 --> 00:15:46,360 we might as well use our best idea. 373 00:15:47,540 --> 00:15:50,116 You guys comfortable? No? Good. 374 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,730 Who are you? What is this place? 375 00:15:51,750 --> 00:15:53,900 And does my son sell drugs for my father? 376 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:55,899 Hm, maybe criminals will actually be honest with me. 377 00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,410 Crystals can be anything, Mom. 378 00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:59,420 - Yeah, but these crystals are drugs. - Morty! 379 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,290 Here we go, boys. This is it. 380 00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:04,339 Jerry? 381 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:05,380 - Rick? - Grandpa? 382 00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:06,883 Jesus Christ. 383 00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:09,020 Morty. Summer. Daughterwife. 384 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,260 You are safe now. 385 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:13,570 Holy shit. All the positive aspects of each, 386 00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:15,180 perfectly melded together? 387 00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:18,728 Yes. I am Jerricky. Wa-chah! 388 00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:21,523 All right, boys, nothing could have prepared us for this. 389 00:16:21,530 --> 00:16:23,983 At this point we gotta shoot and hope. 390 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,903 Also, everything's flammable. 391 00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:42,820 Hey, guys, little help? 392 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,014 Gotta split? 393 00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:58,060 I'm sorry, Chux. 394 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,260 I started this. It's all my fault. 395 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,680 Solid apology, new guy. 396 00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:03,730 If we live through this, you're off the hook. 397 00:17:06,670 --> 00:17:08,020 Nice shot, Morty. 398 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:09,980 Eh, everything's flammable. 399 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,650 Aghh. What a family. 400 00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,870 - You got shot? - No, no, no. 401 00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:20,120 The stitches, they never really set. 402 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,290 What can I say? I'm a workaholic. 403 00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:26,360 Agh. I knew this day would come. 404 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,660 Chuxly, this is a good death. 405 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,040 You sought mastery over your world. 406 00:17:31,060 --> 00:17:33,720 No, no. I-I-I stepped out of line. 407 00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:35,160 I thought I could kill God. 408 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,360 Being a boss in a crime world... oof. 409 00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:40,740 So much stress. 410 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:45,980 Honestly, Jerricky, it's a relief to die in your four arms. 411 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,275 Final meal? 412 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,140 Mmm, mm. 413 00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:54,079 How... H-How old is this? 414 00:18:02,420 --> 00:18:04,730 Can we turn on the radio? 415 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,540 At this point, I'd even take a podcast. 416 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:10,380 Do you not hear the symphony of atoms dying in space? 417 00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:14,630 Um, no? 418 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,200 Good. You are here. 419 00:18:20,990 --> 00:18:23,340 I have modified the house defenses. 420 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,648 They will ensure the mob never bothers you again. 421 00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:28,080 Oh. Thanks. 422 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,630 This is killing me. 423 00:18:30,650 --> 00:18:32,500 I-I thought when you came to rescue us 424 00:18:32,510 --> 00:18:33,999 you learned to love us more than ever. 425 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,323 Y-You learned the opposite? 426 00:18:35,340 --> 00:18:37,770 Burger & Fries learned to love each other, 427 00:18:37,790 --> 00:18:40,870 then sacrificed themselves out of love for you. 428 00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:43,623 I am Jerricky, and I only need to love myself. 429 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,420 You can't actually be leaving, right? 430 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:48,660 - Like the crows thing? - They're my dad and grandpa. 431 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,049 Y-You can't just take them. 432 00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:52,200 Your dad and grandpa are dead, Morty. 433 00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:55,009 They died arguing with each other about their brains. 434 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:58,388 'Scuse me. Are... Are you Jerry? 435 00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:00,348 Sorry, you have one of his heads. 436 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,225 I am Jerricky. 437 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,480 May as well have your rake back, then. 438 00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,020 That's right. I took it. 439 00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:09,180 I ask myself, "Why lie about it? Don't you think he knows? 440 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,560 Couldn't I get my own?" Of course I could've, 441 00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:15,140 but God damn it, this rake, it kept my neighbors in my life. 442 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,740 You guys don't give a Goddamn shit about Gene. 443 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:21,577 But I see that won't help me any longer. Here. 444 00:19:21,580 --> 00:19:24,789 You are no longer obligated in such a way. 445 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,833 I'm gonna give it back anyway. 446 00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:28,980 Just seems like the right thing to do. 447 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,260 Okay. 448 00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:37,980 - Aw. - Oh, shit. 449 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,170 You think a rake will change my mind? 450 00:19:40,190 --> 00:19:41,880 Well, it's fucking lame, okay? 451 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,560 Both of you walking out on Mom? 452 00:19:43,580 --> 00:19:47,020 I thought you had two sets of balls, not zero. 453 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,730 Our balls are adeq... 454 00:19:48,750 --> 00:19:51,070 Morty, we're still in here! 455 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,900 There's a memory of myself as a 30-year-old. 456 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,040 He kept our egos intact. He saved us. 457 00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,419 It was a whole action movie, Morty. 458 00:19:56,420 --> 00:19:58,040 Memory Rick, he's still trapped in here. 459 00:19:58,060 --> 00:19:59,699 - Quick, tackle this fucking thing! - Hold him down! 460 00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,660 - Garage! Garage! Help us! - Hold him down! 461 00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:06,456 Nicely prepared eggs. 462 00:20:07,420 --> 00:20:09,650 I still can't taste anything. 463 00:20:09,670 --> 00:20:11,210 Awesome adventure, Rick. 464 00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:12,420 Jerry, being shuffled with me 465 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,600 was probably the best part of your sad existence. 466 00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:16,257 A brush with greatness. 467 00:20:16,270 --> 00:20:18,140 Please, like you didn't get an upgrade. 468 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,240 What was it like having integrity for once? 469 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:22,920 Hey, Beth, how much integrity is left on the mortgage? 470 00:20:22,940 --> 00:20:24,850 I-I think it's clear you both love each other 471 00:20:24,870 --> 00:20:26,059 more than you're willing to admit. 472 00:20:26,060 --> 00:20:28,310 Dumb. Fucking dumb. Go pick up crystals for me. 473 00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:29,770 You don't have to do that, Morty. 474 00:20:29,790 --> 00:20:32,320 No, it's... it's okay. I-I like doing it. 475 00:20:32,340 --> 00:20:34,840 Welp, those horses won't sew themselves up, 476 00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:37,580 - but good to have you both back. - Yeah. Whatever. 477 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,909 Great, so I still wind up stuck with Jerry's dumb ass? 478 00:20:39,910 --> 00:20:42,390 Oh, fuck you. Eat your eggs that my wife bought. 479 00:20:42,410 --> 00:20:44,619 How about you eat my shit, you Hawaiian-shirt-loving twat? 480 00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:47,497 Uncalled for! Rude and uncalled for! 481 00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,040 You sit there with your potty mouth 482 00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:50,329 - and do everything but help. - Jerry, it's not my fault 483 00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:51,739 - that nobody respects you in here. - Oh, yeah. 484 00:20:51,740 --> 00:20:53,519 - Your own kids think... - You could help, but you don't. 485 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:54,700 I was busy, Jerry. 486 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,259 I was working on something very important. 487 00:20:56,260 --> 00:20:58,000 ♪ Brand new shoes, walking blues ♪ 488 00:20:58,020 --> 00:21:00,540 ♪ Climb the fence, books and pens ♪ 489 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,879 ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ 490 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,520 _ 491 00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:09,560 ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ 492 00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:15,580 ♪ Walk with me, Suzy Lee ♪ 493 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,270 ♪ Through the park and by the tree ♪ 494 00:21:18,290 --> 00:21:20,196 ♪ We will rest upon the ground ♪ 495 00:21:20,210 --> 00:21:23,074 ♪ And look at all the bugs we found ♪ 496 00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:25,952 ♪ Safely walk to school without a sound ♪ 497 00:21:27,890 --> 00:21:32,667 ♪ Safely walk to school without a sound ♪ 498 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:37,463 ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ 499 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:42,426 ♪ I can tell that we are gonna be friends ♪ 500 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,304 And of course, there's a space shuttles. 501 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,920 Can you believe that giant thing actually flies? 502 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:50,390 Well, of course it can. It's a space shuttles. 503 00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:53,520 And over here is some stuff about Thomas Jefferson. 504 00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:54,620 Come on, students. 505 00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:59,000 Day 8 of attempting to escape Jerry's mind. 506 00:22:00,170 --> 00:22:02,697 It has become increasingly clear my daughter married a man 507 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:06,909 who remembers all technology as powered by springs and gears. 508 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,620 How did I get here? 509 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,400 I suspect a chunk of Rick's brain 510 00:22:10,420 --> 00:22:12,260 got merged with a chunk of Jerry's. 511 00:22:13,060 --> 00:22:15,220 But did Rick maroon me by accident? 512 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,200 Or on purpose? 513 00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:22,100 Escape remains possible, but increasingly unlikely. 514 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,660 Oh, hey, Memory Rick. 515 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:28,806 Building more sculptures out of springs and gears? 516 00:22:28,810 --> 00:22:30,929 Fuck off, Memory Gene. 517 00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:36,810 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.MY-SUBS.com --